Time Marches On

As I walked Sadie around the block this morning (for the second time), I realized that its July - my birth month - and that I'll be another year older.   But it sure doesn't feel like it.  I still think of myself as being in my 30s (ok, maybe 40s!) but definitely not 50s.  and that my kids are still young.  But it just isn't that way any longer.

I was having a long discussion with my daughter last night, and she made me realize that her and my son are the ones who will carry on after I'm gone.  How is that possible?  Where did the time go? 

As for all the drama and stress in my life, which was a major topic in our discussion, how does a person handle family drama situations?  I guess one of things one realizes with age is that it doesn't pay to spend endless hours worrying over things we can't control.   For example, my sister announced that she's getting a divorce, and while I'm sad for the marriage to be ending, I'm also realistic enough to know that sometimes there are things we don't always see between two people.  And there's nothing much I can do but offer support or advice when asked.  I'll commiserate with her, as I've been in her shoes before.  But its not something that will stress me out.  My sister's smart, and she's independent enough to do what's right for her.  Everyone deserves the right to be happy.

Then there's my father, who was recently told he has colon cancer.  I know that this wasn't his first colonoscopy, so if that's the case, they've caught it early.  And surgery is usually the best option for this diagnosis.  He sees a surgeon on Monday.  Until then, we wait.  Worry?  Well, the usual worries when your father is in his 70s, but also practical enough to know medical science has come a long way.  

The biggest stress in my life is with my son and his 'saga' - but that impacts me more because he has lived with me most of his life.  And because I don't feel as if I'm done teaching him about life.  He's had a really big lesson these past couple of months, and its been very difficult for him.  He believes the best of everyone, and hasn't realized that there are some people in this world who will say and do things - even untruthful, hurtful things - to get their way.  A very hard lesson to learn in the manner that he learned it.  He's been enrolled in the "school of hard knocks" and its difficult to extricate one's self from it -- especially if/when there's a child involved.  But he has a big heart, he will be there for the babe, and do what's right. 

As for handling stress, I spend an hour a day at the gym, sometimes going on my lunch hour.  After being away from it while I was on vacation, my first words to Russell on my first day back was "its good to be back to a place where i am in control".  And yes, that's it. Going to the gym is my way of having some control over events in my life, its my time, my space, uninterrupted and quiet.  Ok,  Its quiet from people talking, but my headphones are usually cranked to some 80s hairband.  haha

Everyone handles stress in different ways.  Its not always easy, but I think its important to pick and choose which stresses we allow to become true worries.  The rest we just hold in our minds as concern, as caring, as love.

Now if only there were a way
to keep time from marching on.....