Part of this year's mantra is acceptance. And that got me thinking about being resigned. And I checked with Google, because I can, and found:
Acceptance is an active, empowering acknowledgment of reality that fosters peace and agency, whereas resignation is a passive, hopeless surrender fueled by bitterness and defeat. Acceptance allows you to change what you can, while resignation results in giving up on improving circumstances.
Lots of fancy words and ideals within, but the bottom line is this: most times/days I have acceptance with the way things are in my life regarding Mom. But the really hard days, it feels like I'm resigned.
It takes effort to choose acceptance, to be able to move past what belongs to her and live my own life. In a way, I did that by visiting my daughter and family. By taking myself physically from the city, from being unable to be the one to rush to help if needed, I lessened the restraints I've put on myself.
Now I just need to find a way to do that when I'm at home. Yesterday, I cleaned house. Today, I am going to take a walk before I take her to the dentist. (Yes, I know, always something!!)
Today, I choose acceptance over being resigned.
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