Being that things have been going circular for more than a year, lately it seems that with every day that passes, and every day that has no plan beyond big dreams and wild wishes, my faith in this becoming a real relationship slips lower and lower. And losing faith, or hope, makes one feel pretty low.
Several times in the past, I've made plans to do what I call an "internet meet": driving somewhere to meet up for a short time frame during the day in a public place. Definite rules that I do not deviate from. I've been explicit in that I don't expect or wish this to be some kind of sexual liaison, and its not an official kind of date, considering we've not met yet. Something safe, noncommittal, and non threatening is how I like to arrange it. Granted, this will be the first time meeting someone I've known for such a long time.
Last spring and summer, each time I proposed the trip, something got in the way. Work schedules most often on my part, a few excuses on his part. The timing just didn't seem to be working out. And me being ... I won't call it superstitious, but I do try to pay attention to signs.... I took that as a sign that it wasn't yet time. But at the rate its going, it will never be time.
So I took matters into my own hands. (TC told me I should go after what I want...) Boldly, I just laid it out in an email: "I'm coming to your portion of the state, I'll be staying in a town not far from you. I plan on being here, and there, and I'd like us to meet."
This will either be a terrific birthday gift to myself,
or a shift in a friendship I had higher hopes for.
No comments:
Post a Comment