Dear Brian:
It's been two days now, and functioning to do what needs to be done comes in spurts of energy and then a near shutdown that tells me it's time for a nap.
Your sister and I cleaned out your room today. We started with the objective of finding things to be displayed at your memorial. Then it turned into sorting and digging through all the boxes and making decisions about what needs to happen with all your stuff. Turns out Alonzo can fit into some of your jeans and shirts ... one problem solved. Tanya is keeping a couple of your sweat shirts. The other camo things that we can't use will be donated, of course.
Looking through your things was nostalgic for me - so many things brought up memories of you as a boy, a young man, the handyman you'd become.
I'm already missing your smile, your jokes. Tanya and Alonzo have been staying with me. Sometimes I hear them after I've gone to bed, and it feels as if it's you wandering the house.
Planning your memorial has been ... difficult. A church wouldn't suit you. We wondered about a hotel conference room but it sounded rather boring. So we decided on a room at the library at Riparian Preserve. When we moved from Ohio to Arizona, our "Thursday night outing" was to walk the park, hit the library for videos and a book or two, then stopping at Taco Bell for dinner. I feel like we did that every week for more than two years!
I'll be adding thoughts and feelings as we progress through these next two weeks ... and beyond.
BTW, when I talked to your dad, he was the same as always!
You'll know what that means. *chuckle*
I'll always love you
Mom
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