Hold This Brick

It started off as a one or two "help".  "Can you make me an appointment .....?"  

Here, hold this brick.

Then it's driving to the appointment, and oh, can we stop at the grocery store?  

Here, hold this brick.

It accumulated over time. But you never get to put those first bricks down. Pretty soon, you're making all the phone calls. Then handling the bills, the checking account, reordering medications, filing taxes.

Here, hold this brick.

Over time (a short 14 months) I am now handling every aspect of mom's life. And even though there are people seeing to her basic needs every day, it's not enough. 

Three texts since I saw her less than 36 hours ago, complaining about my brother not answering her texts and have I heard from him?  Add to that, I brought her 18 rolls of toilet paper 8 days ago, and she needs more.

Here, hold this brick.

She wants her house sold some days, other days she wants to hold on to the hope that one day she will return to it. 

Here, hold this brick.

Her severe anxiety, most of which is brought on by her continual worrying, increases her pain, causes crying jags etc makes her unpleasant to be around. Yet I continue with the visits. 

Here, hold this brick.

Her in-facility doctor group no longer accepts her insurance.  Her facility just increased her rent by 25%. 

Here, hold this brick.

My arms are full, my back aches. When does this end??