So my mom's favorite grandson: she has doled out money and babysat his kids, and practically raised him growing up. He hasn't visited her since February.
Today, he's asking if I will babysit so him and his gf can go dancing. Babysitting means *I* drive to his house and then drive home in the dark. And frankly, late nights aren't my thing. I'm usually in bed at 730.
So why do I feel guilty if I say no?
Am I wrong for not wanting to babysit? I love being with the kids, but late nights don't work well for me. Yes, we should do what we can to help family. But to go dancing? Is that helping??
Why is it we seem to have this guilt gene where we feel guilty about choosing ourselves over others?? Where does that come from? Is it ingrained? Or are we trained by our mothers to have this?
In many of the self help books "its OK to say no." That has never worked for me. My mom is the type who will volunteer people to get something done. And she's very good at making you feel guilty if you don't. I was volunteered to "pick up my nephew after school" and mom said "you can do this right?" But it turned into picking up my nephew, helping with homework, watching his sister as well, then taking them both to their after school activities too. Soon the 2:45 pm pickup turned into late evenings. I wasn't getting home before 5pm and sometimes not until after 7pm.
So I'm trying to not feel guilty about feeling guilty.
Sometimes it feels like an endless cycle.
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