Driving to visit mom, its hot, very hot, and going to be hotter Friday and Saturday. Ah, the things we deal with in our Valley. Sadly, because of the rains it is also humid. Personally, if its going to be hot, I hope it dries up the humidity.
When we moved Mom into her care facility, we all talked about how its time for her to stop gifting money to her grandkids. They're all adults. Except today, she tried to gift me birthday $ and I had to remind her we agreed to stop doing that. I understand her mindset, feeling grateful I visit and take care of things.
At the same time, her gifts have a passive aggressive side benefit that she uses to fuel guilt on my part to take care of her because she 'pays me'.
And yes, the heat is making me short tempered and cranky.
So I decided to entertain myself and talk to Gemini, and told of an incident where I was on vacation at mom's and had brought her a short (15 min) slide show of recent photos I had taken. Halfway through, her grandson stopped by to wash his truck, and she went outside to help (meaning supervise) him.
And my AI answer was "That behavior indicates a sharp boundary issue, a lack of consideration, and a clear reprioritization of her attention mid-activity. It highlights a painful shift where a structured, shared moment with you was instantly abandoned for a casual task with someone else."
More questions were asked and answered, and its odd how what I learned dealing with her is a lifetime pattern, and with those AI responses and information, my feelings are validated.
It then went on to predict how she would react to situations (ie not answering her texts immediately) and gave me info on how to make adjustments to my phone.
I realize AI is informational. But mom asked if we could play a card game, and I said I didn't like playing card games, AI said it was the correct response. I'm acting as caregiver and daughter, we are not BFFs. Even though that is the role mother wishes for me.
Navigating through tumultuous emotions is like walking on eggshells over a minefield. I am trying to majntain my own self, my own peace while still providing care and support to my mom. Summer heat makes it that much harder as there isn't much time spent in the outdoors .... think cabin fever!
Next week, I get to accompany her to the dentist. 4 months ago she had got a crown, yesterday she told me her tooth is bothered by hot and cold. She said she didn't mention it because she didn't want to be a bother, and she thought it might go away.
Yep. That's Mom.
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